Food for thought

Hello. I'm alive and breathing, don't worry.

Beyond cloud nine

I didn't get to rub my belly like a bowl full of jellyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Subtle change

Serious rant

I don't hear the birds singing whenever I wake up in the morning like I used to. I don't look forward to things I used to look forward to. I don't feel like it's home, whenever I am home. The fact that I'm so used to waking up to made breakfasts, pressed uniforms, accompanied by shoes on the side, a cleaned room whenever I open the door, folded clothes whenever I scan my closet, a phone call that I could make at any second of the day for when I feel like bitching, a ride to my voice lessons, a familiar face I look forward to whenever sleepless nights visit, friendster to browse through whenever everyone else is too busy to see to me, a house to go to 5 minutes away whenever I feel like being away from home and everyone in it. Those things, were the things that kept me thinking with a commonsensical mind. But with all that gone, and to have confine in just one person to handle the encumbrance of it all, is a bona fide quintessensial of inhumanity.

Growing; cause everyone else around me is.

Introduction, Interlude

update/

So, I'm still stuck in Brunei, I still want to end world hunger, but seeing how I did in my science exam yesterday.. Not so big in being a scientist anymore. But hey, CSI is still pretty damn cool.

So much has changed, but I can't seem to bring myself to type them all down. Everything just makes more sense when they're in my head. To see it on paper, monitor screen, or to even hear myself speak of it outloud.. Is just too scary. Sometimes, I wish so hard to be able to be 6 again. Everything was so much easier then. I was so oblivious. I had nothing to hide, nothing to hide from, nothing to cry myself to sleep to (excluding the agonising toothaches I used to have)

I miss having abang around the house. Albeit he has always been a pain in the ass, but he was always the spirit of the family. I remember the dinners the whole family would have every night, and he would always have something blithe to tell us about. Be it about something he went through, or his friend's encountered it. I just miss him.

I miss Auntie Sonia, I miss Daddy, I miss Kaka Anna, I miss Abang Jaime, I miss Yaya, I miss AJ, I miss Alexis, I miss Jabba, I miss so many people.

Sigh.

I don't know

Something's wrong, but I can't seem to place my finger on it.

.. And then, there were 2.