Nabil.

How do you know what to do when you're beside death? How do you know how to spend your last days? How do you know how to say goodbye, how do you choose your last words? This post is for Nabil. Not late nabil, just Nabil.

Yeah, sure I knew him. But i didn't really know him. But judging from the tears, the bulletin posts, the petitions as April calls them, the comments, he sounds like a pretty great guy. Every after school, I would see him walk his little sister, hand-in-hand, to kindergrten. And it would be cutest thing. He even got Sir Eugene crying. I always knew behind his rugged exterior (ew) was the beating heart of a gentle, sensitive bebot man. Anyway, back to the subject. Eevrybody's telling anybody who's somebody all kinds of things. They found him-They haven't-He's dead-There's hope. I think that's flat-out wrong. You don't play with death like that, you just don't. Death, or Fate. I didn't know I was going to cry when the school had the prayer and tahlil. I was like, "I don't even know him.. so nevermind the tissues." But I was wrong. I somehow channeled Sarah's pain, and it felt horrible. Not only Sarah's, but everybody's. How horrible must the suspense feel to not know where your son is, where your brother is, where your bestfriend is, where your boyfriend is. It would drive me crazy. And it exasperates me so much that the boys in class have the time of day to still laugh and play around. I mean, hasn't it hit you? He might be .. yknw.

I was at Sarah's place yesterday night. I wanted to be with her. I mean, if there's ever gonna be a moment to be a good friend, that was the moment. We were listening to old school's, just accepting the lyrics, comprehensing it, and realising how precious life is. And it really proves the saying "tell someone you love them today, or you might not have the chance tomorrow." right.

Sarah was saying lastnight that, it sucks to know our prayers didn't work. I told her not to look at it that way, it/it'll probably helped/help find Nabil. (You're never to sure about what you hear) Every little prayer counts, so please don't give up hope. But if he is gone, we'll know he's in safe hands. He'll be in a world of delectation and euphoria.

Hope. Faith. Believe.

Always,

Iza.