Love on pause

In my opinion, there is no specific definition of love. There's um-llions of people in this world, on this earth.. ergo, there's um-llions of definitions. But what do I have to say about it? What does this particular 15 year old have to say about it?

LOVE? Putting aside the fact that it is an over-used word in today's world, it's beautiful. Actually, It is beyond beautiful, beyond amazing, beyond ecstatic. It makes all of us human-babies do the darnest things. It makes us sing, it makes us dance, it makes us laugh, it makes us smile, it makes us write, it makes us fight with our parents, it makes us spend our money on the littlest things that you think your monpetishu would smile to, it makes you drive all the way down to KB, Tanah Jambu, Kota Batu, Sengkurong, it makes us.. simply put, it makes us so happy.

When I'm in love, I get the fuzziest feeling inside. It makes the butterflies in my stomach fly so hard that they die. It makes me smile when I'm just about to sleep, and its why I smile the minute I awake. When I'm in love, I am cut open in the middle, and beyond exposed. I show every face and every mask I have. Every little flaw. I kantut, I cry, I piss, I o-o, I give all of me.

If you were to ask me.. What do I do best? No questions asked, I'd say.. Love. I love.. to love. I love falling inlove, I love how crazy it makes me, I love being manja, I love being kusut, I love running to the boyfriend and just start to rant about my day, I love bitching with my significant other, I love sharing inside-jokes across the table, I love huffing-and-puffing around my room, trying to look for the nicest outfit for my date, I love thinking of what to buy for monthsaries, I love sending goodnight messages, I love waking up to goodmorning messages, I love goodnight calls, I love hollywood kisses, I love anniversaries, I love holding hands, I love kissing, I love.. love.

If you have love, cherish is, appreaciate it, don't only hold on to it, but grasp it with both hands, and don't let it go, don't mess it up.

To end this post?.. I miss love.

Hey

It's been awhile since I last scribbled my feelings in words, in paper, and in web for that matter. It's been a serious while. No, I'm not going to say that I was too busy to write, I'm not going to blame it on school. Simply put? I just didn't have the umph to write. Why am I writing now? Because I have this sudden urge of needing to write.

Birds-eye; this month is taking the longest to past. Am I saying that because I am on holiday right now? Maybe. Am I saying that because I've gotten a tad bit lonelier? Maybe so. I'm at home, and all my relatives from the philippines are here. They're all nicely sat on the dinner table, and they look.. content. Put aside the fact that they've wrinkled with age and memories, but when they smile.. It looks so genuine.

I hear my lolo belting out on the magic sing now. He's most probably drunk, and he looks as if he's having the time of his life. I wish I was like that. I would most probably kill, to be satisfied with what's on my plate. But I always, always, push my luck.. and instead of having extra desert, I am sent to my room. You gets? Good.

My little cousin is humping my leg now, I think he wants my attention. Better go x

Greetings, to what's left of my readers..

Yes, yes. I am blogging.. believe it or not. No, I have not been busy. No, I was not run down by a bus. Frankly, and simply put, I've just been plain lazy. So, shall we start off with the basics?

- I haven't gotten anything on my mind lately but school. Deadlines, exams, homework. And yes, I do know that I am only in form 3. And you should take into account that i almost never complain about it since majority of the people I surround myself with are form fivers and above. But you know what... it's my blog, and I shall komplen when I nak. Ha!

- Is it just me, or is this year going about too fast? I swear it was just last week that I was celebrating New Years. And now.. It's may. The 5th month of the year. We're almost half way through the year people.........

- Yes, I do notice that my writing's gone abit stale.. But note down that I am blogging for your sake ok. Cough MJ cough :P I joke, I joke.

I attempted to blog, but obviously I have poorly failed. Forgive thee!

Excuse thee, again

Forget what I just posted.

Excuse me

Will be updating posts relating school for a couple of weeks, requested by Ms Beth. Sorry peeeeeeeeps! Don't bother checking for updates, unless you're interested in leading a healthy lifestyle.. Help yourself x

Secret rendezvous

So, how are you?

Iza loves Danial

I rememer...

• The first time I saw, during expressions' choir practise and you were still in your little eminem phase, just the cutest thing
• After rehearsals, you wanted to trade your Fratinis Pizza with my phone number, didn't work
  
• I remember actually sneakily stealing your number off Nabil's phone during one of the practices in the theatre, there were two Danial's, I went for the Danial Lawa
  
• You messaged me first that very same night
• You left for UK
• You came back and stole my heart, well.. I stole you from.. nuf said
• Our first date
  
• When I saw you that Sunday
• The first time we made pizza and hate it behind the flower shop
• When we CSI-ed the day away
• When Yudi first sang 'are you sleeping'
• The epic movie
• So much
  
  

Because I'm bored

Today..

Dana and I attempted to..

Bake muffins that ended up like this, ergo.. failed :(

Leaving you with two very sad Noorhaizamdins

Have a good day you lot xxx

I love danial

As Haris, the wise one aka the driver says,
... Pergi untuk kembali.

- it's 2.22 in BSB

A little awakening

Most of what I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduation mountain, but there in the sandbox at nursery school. These are the things I learned: Share everything-play fair-don't hit people-put things back where you found them-clean up your own mess-don't take things that aren't yours-say you're sorry when you hurt sombedy-wash your hands before you eat-flush-warm cookies and cold milk are good for you-live a balanced life-learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some-take a nap every afternoon-when you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together-be aware of wonder-remember the little seed in the plastic cup-the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that-goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the plastic cup; they all die, so do we. And then remember the book about Peter and Jane and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology, politics and sane living. Think of what a better world it would be if we all-the whole world-had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nations to always put things back where we found them and clean up our own messes. And it is always still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it is better to hold hands and stick together.

There, I blogged.

Polka dotted cushions

Ok fine, put aside the blogger's block. Try leaning more agaisnt.. a lazy dog?

So, the assesments are finally over. Hallelujah. In the midst of twirling my hair and bumming on the bed, I mulled over the thought of going downstairs and karoeke-ing my day away. But the fact that I've been karoeke-ing my days away almost everyday.. .... enter laptop. So here I am, on the laptop. On blogger. With absolutely nothing to say. Hands down, I've got a million and one thoughts thumbling and tripping in my head, but I'm not quite sure if it would make sense to the public eye.

What is there to talk about? My maid is downstairs, probably appending to the food we already have in the fridge. My sister is in school. My mother is at work, same goes for dad. My boyfriend is at home. Doing god-knows-what. And I am.. here. Bored to death that karoeke-ing the day away doesn't sound so bad anymore.

Earth to Iza!

Haro peeps! Yes, yes. It's been awhile indeed. What with assesments and all..


... well would you look at that, blogger's block.

My name is Ama

Ms Nadia Farhana Halim, what the message said was..

In spite of whatever may happen in your day, it's going to be okay. You've made it through difficult things before, right? Right. And you always land on your feet. Maybe not dancing; maybe not always sure about what to do next. But you always manage to figure things out. Especially when you're able to keep your sense of humour and not lose you smile. If you really think about it, you'll realize that you are a very strong individual. Someone who may not have all the answers, but who at least is willing to hope and try and believe. You can see your way through just about anything; it all depends on how you look at it. And when I look at you, I see someone who really is.. Pretty amazing x

- Don't forget that smile.

A good Saturday

Me: Sucha Loser
Sarah: I know you are but what am I?
Sarah: (under her breath) .. a loser
Together: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahHAhahHAhahHAHahHAHahHAH

Kim Possible

18 words that you might come across with whilst I blog, and I really think they should exist, but sadly they don't..

1. Anecdultery (an nek dul tah ree) n.
- The moment when you are halfway through telling someone a story - acting in the know and exaggerating like crazy - when you realise itwas their story in the first place. (also communitake, theminiscing)

2. Binfidel (bin' fid elle) n.
- A person who sneaks his rubbish into your bin once it's been put out on the kerb, so there's never any space for you last forgotten bag. (also binfilltrator, coup d'etatrash)

3. Boastbuster (bowst' bust tah) n.
- A person who, when asked to guess how cheaply you bought something, always picks a figure so extreme that your story falls completely flat. (also anecdope, pestimator)

4. Buckstop (buhk' stop) n.
- The space left between the person using an ATM and the first person in the queue behind them. (also PINcushion, dough man's land)

5. Cosmetic perjury (koz met ik' pur jah ree) n.
- The tactful response required when you meet an acquaintance who has proudly changed their hair, face ot body in a failed attempt to improve their appearance. (also fake-lift, umdiscretion)

6. Edgehog (edj' hog) n.
- A bus, couch, plane passenger who hogs the aisle seat so you have to climb over them to get a vacant spot. (also yobstacle, AisleBeRightMate)

7. Eyeberg (eyz' burg) n.
- The icy look I or any other teenager give my mother when I want her to stop talking to my boyfriend. (also off-peak, frigidglare)

8. Hope Couture (howp' ku toor)
- The item of clothing you keep for years or months, in the vain hope of you might fit back into it someday. (also wishfits, martin -luthers, as in "I have a dream..")

9. Lovestuck (luvh' stuck) n
- The mment on a first date when both people want to make a move but are scared of getting a knockback, and as a result: nothing happens. (also per-sensual tension, ankissipation)

10. Flaparazzi (fla oah' rah tzee) n
- Someone who is always in the background of a live news report, waving stupidly at the camera. (also telepathetic, vextra, eyejacker)

11. Knack-nicker (nak' nik ah) n.
- Someone who can't leave a hotel room without taking every tea bag, sugar sachet, complementary shampoo, etc. (aka my mother) (also the artful lodger, kleptomarriott)

12. Tearerist (te rah' ryst) n.
- A person in the cinema who seems to take ages to unwrap/pick/open/ their sweets/popcorn/chips, then eats them one by one, oblivious to the noise. (also tornmenter, weapon of multiplex distraction)

13. Piece de resistance (pees' d re zis tonts) n.
- The last bit of food left on a plate because everyone wants to be polite. (also gluttanot, remorsel)

14. Moanotone (mown o' toen) n.
- The faltering voice my mother, (or everyone else who works) uses when she/they ring work to tell them their sick. (also arggghccent, phlegmbellishment)

15. Shinterjection (shin' tah jek' shun) n.
- At a dinner party, the sharp kick under the table you give your partner to indicate that whatever it is they are saying, they must stop saying it right now. (also shin dig, toed rage)

16. Tortune (tor' tyoon) n.
- A catchy yet awful song that you just can't get out of your head, even after hearing it played just once. (also ABBAration)

17. Suffermore (suf ah' moor) n.
- A person who is always sicker or wose off than you. If you say you are a bit tired, they are exhausted. If you are snowed under, they tell you to try it with divorced parents. And when someone steals your boyfriend, they tell you that nothing can compare to what happened to them last summer. (also hurtuoso, sickophant)

18. Veriflycation (veri fly kay' shun) n.
- That unvoluntary movement of checking the fly made by all men as they re-enter a public place after leaving the bathroom. (also heflex action)


* And a very happy birthday to Lynn my BFFL, and happy.. Independance day? xx

Pix

- the new cut :(

- Bah with his buttoned nose

- the first embarassing picture of myself with a thong on my head.

- now who's the luckiest girl in the world?

- my favourite <3

- Daddy!

- good'ol school boys

I did it

I don't know why or what I'm writing, but for some reason, I just feel the need to. I don't know what I'm going to write about or am writing about, all I know is that.. I need to write. It's always like that. When there's something bothering me up in the money-maker, famously known as "brain", I tend to just write it out as to walking it off. I'm in PE class now but it's raining outside so it's just.. class. Jacin's next to me, copying off Ahnaf's karangan. (As we all are at some point of the day), I can hear Ms Sheeba in the background, trying to keep the class down. And do they listen? No, they don't. They never do. Unless your name is Ms Shanti (porkchops a.k.a our principal), or Ms Chinn (a banging teach). I want so mnuch to leave this school, but I can't. God know's why. (No emoness intended). I grew up here. I literally did. From having o-o in my pants during kindergarten, from crying and screaming bloody murder if daddy was 1 minute late, to the girl that has to try to stay up in geography class. Hands down, the people here.. well some, are queer. But they're.. welcoming-queer. They'll hit you with the common stares, but after that they'd accept you. (unless your name is Ivan) I joke, I joke. My first time on stage was in primary 3. We were casting for Snow White and the seven dwarves, and I was supposed to be snow white (but you're black ha-ha funny).. until they saw Ms Jacinta Yau I-don't-love-Carey. But I was casted as the witch and my costume was if you ask me, off the hzzzaaaaay. Now, I hear Izzy bragging about his london days, whilst explaning what fags are to MJ and Jenica. Cute, cute.

Hey, it stopped raining.

Reminisce some time

Fucking, eons ago.. Ish.

Waking up to the scent of roses and lillies

Ah yes, it has definitely.. been awhile.

• When I just lay back, and just let my mind wonder on its' own.. I still can't believe that it's 2008. So much has changed. So much.. It's scary. But in English Class the other day, Mr Eugene mentioned that change is the only permanent thing in life. Terrifying, but nontheless true. Sometimes, I just want to be back at Tungku beach with a box of tissues with Valentine, Nash and Dan looking at the stars with me.
• Yesterday was Valentine's, and Danial got me a bouqet of roses and lillies, and for a valentine's-always, a box of patchi chocolates.. He's a keeper.
• School's been hectic, but managable.. I have more than that to say, but a public blog isn't really where I want to spill my inner-guts to. But I'm managing, that's what matters right?
• It was also two of sibling's birthday yesterday, one's in New York, and the other is in Leeds. And you know what? I can't wait to see them this summer. We're actually, and atypically, gonna be at the same place.. at the same time. Albeit it's not Brunei's roof.. we'll still be under a roof together. Beggers can't be choosers, eh?
• Can you keep a secret? I miss Nazura. A lot.
• Sometimes, I just want disappear for awhile. Be it just for a second, I don't give. 1 second would do me justice.
  

Get me out of this limbo..

*Happy belated to Azim, Randy and Yusri. Happy birthday Abg J and Kakak Anna, Fatin. And happy birthday ben! xxx